Addiction Reflection

This whole idea of giving up sugar should have really been more deeply contemplated.  What was I thinking?  I did it during Lent so I wouldn't cheat, as I feel cheating on God is much more heinous than cheating on myself.  I have kept true to my word, but definitely look forward to Sundays so I can indulge.  

When I started this 40 days of wandering in the desert, I didn't realize how hard it was going to be.  I have definitely discovered something about myself... I am definitely an addict.  Sugar (and maybe food as a whole) has a firm grasp on me.  Eating sweet peas or a pear after a meal isn't enough.  How about a brownie, a cookie, or something similar?  My daily chai tea lattes are gone.  I've had one since February 22 and I have to say it wasn't really that good.  So I thought it was just as simple as "Nope, doesn't taste good" and I would be over it.  Not so easy.  I long for Easter morning when I will rush to the closest coffee shop & splurge for a sugar-laden cup of goodness.  I will accompany that chai latte with a big slice of a Butter Braid pastry.  Ahhh... I can taste it now!

Why do the Girl Scouts sell their cookies at this time of year?  Don't they know what we Catholics go through?  The temptation of those sweet girls holding those boxes of delectable, tasty rounds of love sometimes are hard to pass up.  I know someone who bought some and stuck them in the freezer for "after."  Someone else donated them to Operation Cookie Drop.  Another just gave cash to the girls in green.  

I now have a greater appreciation for those who are truly addicted to harmful substances.  Do you think there's a 12-step group meeting at the local Eagles Aerie for sugar addiction?   If not, maybe I'll start one.  Sugar is a harmful substance.  There's many studies out there about how it affects our aging process, our weight, and the all-around way we feel.  It's not, though, as harmful as cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine and perhaps that's why there's not a group meeting on Tuesdays called SA.

I plan to continue only imbibing on Sundays after we celebrate Easter.  I just hope I can do it. 

Hello, my name is Jan and I am an addict

If you are reading this, you know me well and know that last summer I changed my lifestyle as it relates to food consumption.  I've been pretty good except for the last four weeks.  I have come to the realization that I am a sugar addict.  It all started with one chai tea latte on a crisp fall morning.  This program that I've been following with great success -- goodbye 35 pounds of flab -- calls for no refined sugar.  That means fruit sugar is okay... as long as it's still in the fruit when you eat it.

My chai tea lattes were my gateway drug.  I wasn't happy with just a cuppa cuppa in the morning.  It led to biscotti at break, peanut clusters to pummel PMS, mochas in the market.  It was out of control.  I planned my driving routes based on where the nearest fix was.  I even went so far as to get a supplier in Bend, Oregon, that would set me up with wholesale prices.  Now, that, my friend, is a serious addiction.


Though I haven't gained any weight as a result of my "problem," I know that it's contributing to the aging process, the aches in my muscles and the overall sluggishness that I sometimes feel.


No matter how hard I tried to cut down -- I came up with a schedule to imbibe only on certain days of the week -- I was continually drawn to the latte hut near the bus station, the SBC RedBox at the grocery store or <gasp!> the coffee cart in my building.  I won't mention my Sunday morning coffee dates that I've been taking for about nine years with my husband.  I think Starbucks puts crack in their coffee (or milk for those of us who do not drink coffee).   I really know that it's the sugar that keeps me coming back.  Sugar is highly addictive.  It's toxic for our bodies and yet we consume it.  I wouldn't put crack or methamphetamine or any other elicit drug in my body because I know it's bad for me -- and probably would land me in the Gray Bar Motel -- so why do I consume sugar at such an alarming rate?  Perhaps because it's legal and accepted.  But I digress...   



Enter... LENT!  What a fine time to break the cycle!  Today, Ash Wednesday, is Day 1 with no sugar.  Yesterday was Fat Tuesday.  I celebrated with... no, not pancakes, but by having my final chai on my bus ride to work.  I finished off the day with a box of Junior Mints that were screaming at me from those little racks near the checkout.  They scream loud, I tell you.


So what does it mean to "give something up" for Lent?  For me I see this as a struggle, as a huge sacrifice.  Oh, wait... isn't that what Lent is all about?  We are to acknowledge the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the Cross.  Think of the struggle Mary had when she handed over her son for us.  I can give up my sugar.  I know I can.  I expect it to be a daily pull to enter the dark side, but through prayer and remembering why I'm doing this, I know I will make it.  I don't intend to go back to my old sugary ways come Easter, but it's too early to tell.  Six and a half weeks should be enough time to cleanse my entire system of the sweet stickiness that currently swims in my veins.

Will you join me on my journey?   I won't, however, give up my Sunday dates.  The order may be just orange tea, but you will still catch me sitting in the big leather chairs of our local Starbucks catching up with my hubby on the week's details.

build a bridge today

The Bridge Builder

By Will Allen Dromgoole 1860–1934
 

An old man going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm vast and deep and wide.

Through which was flowing a sullen tide

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,

The sullen stream had no fear for him;

But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,

“You are wasting your strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day,

You never again will pass this way;

You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head;

“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,

“There followed after me to-day

A youth whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm that has been as naught to me

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”

Too Yummy for my Tummy

Last summer the family & I went to a restaurant in Eugene, OR called Cafe Yumm.  A little place that, at first glance, seemed a little strange.  A healthy menu, order at the counter with table service.  I've been dreaming of a Yumm Bowl ever since and now with the great benefit of GOOGLE, I was able to make our very own Yumm Bowl.  This comes as a great benefit because it was either replicate it or buy a franchise into Cafe Yumm, and the beloved husband was having none of it!  I guess a close duplication is better than investing $250k in something that perhaps not everyone on South Hill would appreciate as much as we do.  So tonight we tried them and I would say it will do... until my next trip to Oregon, that is.  You can buy the sauce by the case from the company, but I modified the recipe just a bit to make this as healthy as everyone knows I eat (most of the time).  You will see my changes in parenthesis.  Try one for yourself.  You may be pleasantly surprised.  

YUMM BOWL!

For the Yumm Sauce:

• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 cup grape seed or canola oil  (omitted)
• 1/2 cup almond meal or finely chopped almonds (used whole)
• 1/3 cup nutritional yeast
• 1/2 cup cooked garbanzo beans (omitted)
• 1/4 cup cooked soybeans or 1/3 cup tofu (used 1 c. cannellini beans)
• 1-2 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried cilantro

For the original Yumm Bowl:

• Brown rice, cooked
• Black beans, cooked
• Shredded cheddar cheese (omitted)
• Salsa
• Diced fresh tomato
• Sliced fresh avocado
• Sliced black olives
• Sour cream (omitted)
• Fresh cilantro sprigs
• (subbed in cucumber)

directions

For the Yumm Sauce:

• 1
  In a small measuring cup, mix together the water and lemon juice. In a separate small measuring cup, measure out the appropriate amount of oil. Set both aside.
• 2
  In a blender or food processor, process the almonds, nutritional yeast, garbanzo beans, soybeans or tofu, garlic, salt, curry, oregano, and cilantro together until almost fully ground, about 15 seconds.
• 3
  Scrape down the bowl with a rubber spatula. With the machine running, add lemon juice-water mixture in steady stream through feed tube. Scrape down bowl and continue to process for 1 minute. With the machine running, add the oil mixture in a steady stream through feed tube; continue to process until the sauce is smooth and creamy, about 15 seconds, scraping down bowl as needed.
  (who reads instructions?  Not me... I just threw it in the VitaMix & blended til smooth)
• 4
  Transfer the sauce to a clean bottle or jar, cover, and refrigerate overnight to allow the flavors to blend.

To assemble the Yumm Bowl:

• 1
  Place a scoop of brown rice in an individual-sized serving bowl, then layer a scoop of black beans over the rice. Drizzle the rice and beans with a desired amount of Yumm Sauce, then sprinkle shredded cheddar cheese over the rice.
• 2
  Spoon a dollop of salsa in the middle of the bowl, then spoon the tomato, avocado, and olives around the perimeter. Place a dollop of sour cream in the center of the bowl, garnish with some cilantro sprigs, and serve.
  
  

  

  
  

  
  

Countdown

The countdown began a few weeks ago.  I'm talking about the countdown to Alex's departure from the Family Home.  I'm not sure why we started it, but in moments of frustration, you can hear "ah, (fill in number) days."  I think he's excited to be considering living "independently" with hundreds of other dorm dwellers.  But why is Mom counting down?   Is it because of the anticipation of being emptynesters or is it for the relief of no more underwear on the bathroom floor or dirty dishes left on the table?  

Last night as I was setting the table, I realized I might miss him.  Who will unload the silverware willy-nilly into the drawer, mismatching the size of forks?  (Something that drives me crazy & has for years!) Who will make a Leaning Tower of Pisa out of the plastic containers in the cupboard so that when I open the door it falls on my head?  Will I truly miss that or will I feel at ease knowing that everything is tucked into what I consider their proper places -- that same feeling I felt years ago when he was younger, knowing he was safe in his own proper place?  

When our kids get older, they create an atmosphere of uncomfortableness so it's easier to say goodbye when they grow big-kid feathers and leave the nest.  At this point, with only three weeks to go and his feet teetering on the edge, his wings stretched wide, I think I'm ready. 

Below is a picture of the pen/pencil holder Alex made for me about 17 years ago.  I still have it on my desk.  I am reminded every day of his creative spirit, the colorful love that he shares so openly with everyone he meets.  I look forward to seeing him grow and spreading more love with new people.  There are so many opportunities ahead. 

Will it be a push and a shove, or will we fly "wing in wing" into our new worlds that await?