Countdown

The countdown began a few weeks ago.  I'm talking about the countdown to Alex's departure from the Family Home.  I'm not sure why we started it, but in moments of frustration, you can hear "ah, (fill in number) days."  I think he's excited to be considering living "independently" with hundreds of other dorm dwellers.  But why is Mom counting down?   Is it because of the anticipation of being emptynesters or is it for the relief of no more underwear on the bathroom floor or dirty dishes left on the table?  

Last night as I was setting the table, I realized I might miss him.  Who will unload the silverware willy-nilly into the drawer, mismatching the size of forks?  (Something that drives me crazy & has for years!) Who will make a Leaning Tower of Pisa out of the plastic containers in the cupboard so that when I open the door it falls on my head?  Will I truly miss that or will I feel at ease knowing that everything is tucked into what I consider their proper places -- that same feeling I felt years ago when he was younger, knowing he was safe in his own proper place?  

When our kids get older, they create an atmosphere of uncomfortableness so it's easier to say goodbye when they grow big-kid feathers and leave the nest.  At this point, with only three weeks to go and his feet teetering on the edge, his wings stretched wide, I think I'm ready. 

Below is a picture of the pen/pencil holder Alex made for me about 17 years ago.  I still have it on my desk.  I am reminded every day of his creative spirit, the colorful love that he shares so openly with everyone he meets.  I look forward to seeing him grow and spreading more love with new people.  There are so many opportunities ahead. 

Will it be a push and a shove, or will we fly "wing in wing" into our new worlds that await?

Amazing Love

Yesterday, being the 20th anniversary of (as hubby puts it) Frog & Princess getting married, we celebrated with a wonderful, quiet dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant.  

This man's love for me is amazing!  Why would he even put up with me for 20 years?  First we have to go back 21 years when he actually decided it would be a good idea for me to accompany him on life's journey, knowing everything he knew about me then.  And he still thinks it's a good idea!  That's what I call amazing.
Our evening was complete with my handsome "frog" kneeling next to the table, presenting his "princess" with the most beautiful custom-made sapphire & diamond ring and asking me to marry him again and spend another 20 years together!  My response was similar to the one I gave when he asked me to marry him the first time.  (He is in so much trouble!)  It wasn't until late last night that he reminded me that I never answered him!

I'm felt a tad cheap, as my $4.99 purchase in the card aisle doesn't compare with the beautiful piece of jewelry that will soon adorn my hand (after a little sizing adjustment).  Our week will be topped off on Friday when we have a "personal chef" coming to the house to make us a romantic (onion-free) dinner.  I'll update later on in the weekend as to how it all goes.




~~

Anybody have any suggestions for a terrific "guy" birthday idea?  I am soooo in the doghouse!

Oh, and my answer...?  Yes, I will!

Turnaround of Hope

After a brief conversation with my very smart & handsome husband, I was informed that the garlic starts I had finally planted were doomed.  Why were they doomed?  Because I planted them upside down.  You see, planting garlic is much like planting bulbs.  You do it in the fall so they sprout in the spring.  Root-end down and sprout-end up.  Since the little cloves weren't sprouting yet, I guessed.  I guessed wrong.  So out I went Sunday to dig up all 18 cloves and flip them around.  I think they still would have sprouted and eventually the little green stem would have found its way to the top of the soil & produced fine garlic, but I couldn't leave them in the ground knowing they would struggle.  

While on my little scavenger hunt, I was thinking that isn't this what Jesus does for us?  He knows sometimes that we are struggling or going in the wrong direction, but he gives us the extra edge, just like I did with those garlic cloves.  He guides us, puts a hand on our shoulder and says, here you go... turn around and get going in the right direction.  He gives us hope to make it.  He wants us to make it, just like I want my garlic starts to produce big heads of garlic next spring.  Jesus gives us the tools and the strength to be great disciples and to live according to His word, we just need to sprout.

The next time you're struggling, lean on God.  Ask Him to help turn you around so you can "make it."

co-worker or friend?

I said I was going to make a laminated card with good co-worker qualities, and though I have every intent in doing that, I haven't yet.  Doesn't mean I'm not going to attempt (and I already have) to be a better person, I've just been a tad busy.  Something about a threat of monetary sanctions keeps me motivated to get work completed by the deadlines.

So for the benefit of those who actually read my midlife mumblings, I will share with you what some people say make a good co-worker:

• team player
• will help out
• dependable
• willing to set aside differences
• take responsibility for your mistakes
• upbeat & positive
• listens
• knows when to back off
• doesn't gossip
• keeps an open mind
• respectful
• honest
• reliable
• appreciates others' strengths & weaknesses
• understanding
• trustworthy
• patient
• not focused in their own world

I'm not sure if I just listed the qualities of a good friend or a good co-worker, but it seems there's a not of similarities.  So there you go.  Why not start today with improving on just one of the things in the list above?  I think I will.  It can only make things better, right?!

Shape & Mold Me, Please

I have been amazed the last couple of days.  I am helping conduct interviews for a vacancy and one of the questions is something like, "tell me what the best co-worker looks like to you."  uh-oh.  I've really got to raise the bar.  I think I'm failing miserably and for that, I am truly sorry.  

There will soon be a laminated card at my workspace that indicates what all those qualities are that people look for in a good co-worker, so that I can be the best that I can be.  For so many years I have existed in my own bubble, and now it is time to make a change.  

There are so many changes on the horizon.  Just like my last posting with shedding the leaves and preparing for re-birth, I will attempt to make changes in who I am as I move forward this season to make myself into a better co-worker, wife, mother, friend, and Christian.  There is always room for improvement & now is the time!

Autumn Leaves

Fall is, I think, my favorite season.

The Autumn leaves fall so freely from the trees, a shedding of the old, a preparation for what is to come.  

In order to have new life, we must rid ourselves of what we hold on to.  Let go of hurt, of pain, of grudges.  Just as the tree lets go of the drying leaves, we too shed that which causes us trouble. 

~Below is a different thought on letting go ~

Generosity has such power because it is characterized by the inner quality of letting go or relinquishing. Being able to let go, to give up, to renounce, to give generously — these capacities spring from the same source within us. When we practice generosity, we open to all of these liberating qualities simultaneously. They carry us to a profound knowing of freedom, and they also are the loving expression of that same state of freedom.  Fall, then, is the perfect season to give generously of your time and talents to others.

May you find inner peace during this most beautiful season.

Slow Down

Photo credit - Doug Glaze

This kid has shown me how to slow down and take life one day at a time.  He appreciates all the little things in life and recognizes the big things too & how important each person is to him.

So as I was nearly run over in the crosswalk today by someone too eager to get to work -- i could have touched her car -- I thought to myself, "Why such a hurry?  Why not leave the house five minutes early so you can get to work on time without killing someone?"

I love my job, but I can't imagine that it is so important to nearly kill someone in a crosswalk for.  I don't like to be later either, and I'm thinking I would have been really late had I not stopped and let her make her turn.  

So, please, this weekend slow down; sit down and talk to someone you haven't chatted with in a while, hug your teenager, enjoy coffee with a friend, or as I like to do, admire God's handiwork in nature.  After all, he created this world because of his love for us!  He gave it all to us so we would be happy.  Isn't that enough reason to take it easy?  

Life is good.  Weather is beautiful. Praise God!

For Better or for Worse

I was listening to the radio this morning and people were calling in and telling the story of their craziest dates.  I was amused as I thought back to my first date with my handsome husband almost 23 years ago.  (I will spare you the boring details of dating)  This fall we celebrate 20 years of marriage, something almost unheard of these days.  

As I look back, I'm caught in thoughts of our own parents.  Mine were married 42 years at the time of my mom's death, and my in-laws lived happily ever after for 48 years when she lost her battle with cancer.  What amazing testaments of love, what great examples we have had.  Many of our friends have been married 20, 30 years, some longer (and a few less).  As our own son grows, we watch him in relationships.  My prayer is that he, too, will find love that lasts.

But what is the secret to lasting love?  Holding your tongue?  Putting up with little idiosyncrasies of your loved one?  Giving up and giving in?   For me it is the choice and decision every day to love my spouse with my mind, heart and soul just as Jesus asks us to do and as He has done for us.  Some days it's a bit of a struggle, but  over the years, I've made that decision over 7,000 times, so it must not be that difficult.  It's a choice that I'm glad I made, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Don't get me wrong  -- we've had the "better" and we've had the "worse."  Of course, the tough times are what stand out, but it's the day-to-day cruising happily through life that makes it great!  It's a feeling of comfort -- like old, worn jeans that fit just right.  It's the "better" that helps you through the "worse."  It's knowing that your partner is right there with you, walking every step of the way that makes it right.  How would I have ever made it through difficult times without my beloved and God by my side?  And to share the joys and happiness too -- ahhh, that is bliss!


As a midlifer, I'm pleased with this aspect of my life.  I've known my handsome husband longer than I haven't known him! 


Here's to another 20 (or more) years!

Fall is here

Nothing exciting to post today, so I will just put up a picture that my talented husband took.  I give him credit for the photograph.

Another sign of God's love for us.  He gives us such beautiful gifts.

"May you be strengthened with power through God's spirit in your inner self."

Dreary Monday ...

It's a dreary day, this Monday.  The bus I take no longer conveniently drops me off across the street from my building, so I have to hike up the hills of Tacoma about five blocks.  Today it was raining.  I told my bus buddy this morning, "At least it's not windy & 38 degrees."  Her response was, "Almost a perfect day."  What a positive attitude she had.  It made me smile & I thought to myself, so what's the worst that happens, my once-curled hair will be straight & my toes may be a little damp.  Oh, well.  

As we passed people hunkering under a tree to stay dry, or stretched out in their sleeping bags, still asleep from a night of walking to find somewhere out of the weather, I decided it wasn't so bad after all to have to walk five blocks up hill.  I soon would be in the comfort of my warm, dry office.  It's not all about me.  

This coming weekend the St. Vincent dePaul truck will be at my church to collect those unwanted goods we all have in our homes.  I think I'll go through my closet and find things that I don't need that others can use.  My recent weight loss has made many things available to others.  I don't need to save them in the back of the closet "just in case" because I don't plan on going back there, where I was four months ago.  If you would like to do the same, let me know and I'll make arrangements.  Furniture, clothes & household goods are welcome.  Warm coats and blankets this time of year are especially needed.

Sustainable Life

I have been encouraged over the years by Alex's ways.  I've read books he has recommended, become a better giver, tried to live with less, loved more, and have begun to look at more sustainable ways to live -- in a sense, become greener -- and I'm not talking about recycling.  

For the past two summers we've tried our hand at container gardening.  We have had better luck with some crops than others.  Take, for instance, the lemon cucumber crop.  Perhaps our success was due to the large quantity of plants he planted.  18 plants will give you many cucumbers.  Though eating them was not high on our list.  Even with adopting a plant-based diet, we couldn't find a way to fit them all in.  I admit I tossed a few rubberized lemon cucumbers early this week to regain control of my kitchen from the fruit fly coup that was occurring.  I think I was successful, though I don't believe it was the fault of the cucumbers. 

I ran into an urban farmer from our old neighborhood a few weeks back and talked to her about her crops and the garden, what grows & what doesn't.  This lady has been growing vegetables in a back-yard garden for as long as I've known her (about 20 years).  She suggested I order a seed catalog -- I think she was actually growing tired of my questions.  Territorial Seed came through and the catalog arrived in the mail.  I've been pouring over it, dreaming of abundant crops of carrots & spinach, baskets overflowing with tomatoes just like in the pictures.  I even saw an advertisement for a chicken tractor and thought for a very brief moment of raising chickens.  

My crazy, hair-brained idea was quickly quelled.  No chickens, no goats, no bees & definitely no mushrooms.  

Mushrooms, I have learned, need to be grown indoors and apparently after a few harvests become fly attractants.  (See paragraph above regarding fruit fly coup)  With the quantity of mushrooms we eat in our house (enter, plant-based diet), I thought a mushroom farm would be a good idea.  I guess, in the meantime, I will just keep someone else in the dark & feed him lots of poo... Just kidding!  

Maybe in retirement I will figure out an outdoor, covered, warm way to grow mushrooms.  Oh, and if you think my mention of retirement there was a lead-in to something, it's not.  I will be working for many more years.  Perhaps, I should say "in retirement, HE will figure out a way to grow mushrooms."   We do have that extra-large detached garage available.  Hmmmm...

Off to do more browsing through my seed catalog & contemplate growing eggplant.  Baba ganoush is sounding pretty good about now. 

Points to Ponder

Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers died yesterday at the age of 56.  Below I include a quote that touched me today. Although I don't believe I own one Apple product (except maybe a Gala or a Golden Delicious), from what I have read, Jobs was one amazing man, both in his personal life & what he did for the techno industry.  The vision that he had was incredible.  Look where we have come... from a computer that took up an entire room to a little thing you stick in your pocket that will satisfy your musical cravings for eons to come (not to mention all the inventions in between that people can't live without these days).  Unbelievable!

  “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me.  

Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… 

that’s what matters to me.”

~Jobs, 1993                      

May we all strive to do something wonderful today!

                     

Today I leave you with one of my favorite pictures.  I wonder what he was thinking as he gazed out at God's beauty.  When was the last time we took a moment to appreciate the wonder of God's creation?  I know I am always amazed by His gifts to us! 

Friends Come & Go

The last few weeks have been an interesting menagerie of emotions -- people coming in and out of my life, each change having its own purpose, perhaps not one I can pinpoint right now.  But it made me think of something I read once in the book The Shack.  You know how at the beginning of every chapter in a book sometimes the author will put little snippets of others' work?  I have had this one hanging on a Post-It on my desk for quite a long time to remind me that we aren't really to question why, but just to go with the flow.

Some of us live and some of us die;

some day God's going to tell us why.

Open your heart and grow with what life sends;

we'll meet again at the Festival of Friends. 

~ Bruce Cockburn 1975 

I want to be somebody

Who am I, really?  A mom.  A wife.  A court reporter.  A strong Christian woman who truly believes in the power of God.  I am all that!  But I want to be more.  As life cruises along and we are swept up in the day-to-day grunge work of parenthood, married life and careerdom, don't we really want more?  Don't we want to be known for something?  I'm not the next Bill Gates or an up-and-coming Oprah, nor am I the next entrepreneur who is starting a great business.  I'm not an author who will write the next New York Times bestseller (which I'm thinking you've figured out by now.) 

So what is it that I want to be?  I want to be the loving-est wife, the most patient mom, the strongest woman that lives her life in the way that Jesus asks each of us.  I want to be *that* career woman that carries everything I want to be into the office and cast that upon those I meet each day.

When we were young, in high school, when we were carefree and whimsical, we had dreams of what we would be.  Some people acted on those dreams and are living that life they saw for themselves; others realized those dreams were so unrealistic and changed direction.  I don't think a midlifer has to lose the idea of dreaming.  Our dreams are just different now that we have families, husbands, wives, kids, careers, responsibilities; some of us even have extended families that we are caring for that add extra blessings in our lives.    

Continue to dream.  Re-light the fire and be who you want to be!  Take others with you on the journey because it's more fun!

Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you'll land upon the stars!

What is your dream?

What's age but just a number

I don't really think of myself as 44 years old.  The first weekend of every month at church those celebrating a birthday are called forward to receive a birthday blessing.  As if you can only receive the blessing if you confess your age, everyone in turn speaks their name and how old they are going to be that month.  So, I proclaim in front of 350 people that I'm going to be 44!  Wow!  I think that's when it hit me.  I was feeling a little glum after that.  A birthday wish by another parishioner came with "it's okay, it's just a number."

Your age is really only a number until you fill out a survey.  You know, the kind that have the questions at the end that everybody wants to avoid... what's your household income?  Your race?  Your AGE!  Well, I've got but one more year and I will be bumped up to another category.  It feels like just yesterday I joined probably most of the survey takers out there... the one that is 40-44.

We midlifers answer surveys because we want our opinion to count.  Maybe we don't feel like our opinion matters at home anymore because our kids don't really want to hear our opinion, they're busy doing their own thing and want to figure it out for themselves.  At work, we've usually been in our job for so long that bosses and co-workers already know your opinion without asking (or they think they do).  So we anonymously answer nonsensical, irrelevant surveys from which some computer on the other end compiles data for a huge company that we think cares about our opinion.  So I say subscribe to Shopper's Voice, Survey Monkey, My Survey and the like.  Let it all out.  What a great way to share how you really feel without being judged

Think about it... If you're having a bad day, you can really let them have it!  What's your opinion?

What's it all about, anyway?

While riding the bus the other morning, I thought of some ideas that were the true reason for my blog.  I figured I'd better write these great braniac ideas down because we all know what happens when you're a mid-lifer and you have an idea -- let 30 seconds go by and the idea has poofed right out of the grey matter in the brain.  Since all of my writing materials were jammed in my commute bag, I figured there has to be a better way.  Alas, I'm holding in my hand one of the greatest pieces of technology.  My cell phone!  By the time I opened my phone to figure out if there was a "notepad" in there, I'd forgotten what my ideas were.

So I digress... I've recently discovered that I'm a mid-lifer.  I am not sure how I came to the reality. Perhaps it is with the recent passing of a birthday.  If I truly am at midlife, I feel blessed.  That means that I will live to the ripe old age of 88.  I could deal with that.  

During a recent reflection, I discovered that my life has just been cruising along for a while -- normal, no real highlights.  Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, it just is.  I'm happy.  I have a wonderful, patient husband and a very talented and wise son.  I have a good job & I am comfortable.  God has truly blessed me.  

After I told a friend a list of my "symptoms" recently, he said, "I'm afraid your crisis has entered the building."  Does that mean that my past is history?  No, I think it means that I'm opening a new chapter to a very large book.  A lot of people go through what I'm going through.  Some realize it; others don't.

I subscribe to a few blogs.  I'm sort of like an internet stalker.  One of those blogs is available as a click-through by clicking on my picture over to the left.  That is a blog filled with the wisdom of a young person who has been a great inspiration to me.  Other blogs I read tell of "homesteading" and self-sufficiency.  Other blogs are on eating well, are full of recipes or family trials and tribulations.  I don't assume to be full of wisdom that I was impart to you, nor am I great in the garden and I for sure do not raise chickens!  My goal is to share experiences, walk through life with you -- my fellow mid-lifer -- and perhaps make someone laugh.  If just one person laughs, I will be happier because we know at midlife, everything seems so serious.

Peace & Blessings for this day. 

Thoughts to ponder

“Finish every day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities

no doubt crept in;

forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day;

begin it well and serenely

and with too high a spirit

to be encumbered with

your old nonsense.

This day is all that is good and fair.

It is too dear,

with its hopes and invitations,

to waste a moment

on the yesterdays.”

All in a name

I must give credit where credit is due.  Thank you to a wonderful friend who suggested my blog name.  When you decide you're going to start blogging, I'm told by Alex, you have to have a blog name that relates to the point of your blog.  "Well, duh," she says!  I decided that "blabbing bitch blog" was not very appropriate, so my dear friend who has "been there, done that" named my blog (well, I had to add the "my" so it was a unique URL).

Until I figure out how blogs work, I won't use anyone's name without their permission.  So, Friend, you know who you are!  Thank you!

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!  The genesis of this blog is that Facebook drives me crazy, with its ever-changing format and all the nonsense that's there.  It's not because I think what I have to say is more important that what others post, but I just don't need to know what Sally in Nebraska ate for breakfast!  But, trust me, if you follow me for very long, you will -- at times -- hear what I had for breakfast, or I might even share a recipe with you.

I'm not really sure the point of my blog except that I have a lot to say!  So here goes nothin'.  I'm canceling my Facebook page & if you're following me, it's probably because you've been invited to join me, to embark on this new phase of my life with me, to laugh & to cry with me... well, maybe not the crying part.  (I'll save that for the private spaces of my home... like the closet!)